i tell you one thing

2011-10-20T18:03:00.000Z

If there is something to desire,
there will be something to regret.
If there is something to regret,
there will be something to recall.
If there is something to recall,
there was nothing to regret.
If there was nothing to regret,
there was nothing to desire.

Vera Pavlova

Empty Space

2011-07-21T13:03:00.002+01:00

There were two kingdoms only:

the first of them threw out both him and me.

The second we abandoned.

Under a bare sky

I for a long time soaked in the rain of my body,

he for a long time rotted in the rain of his.

Then like a poison he drank the fondness of the years.

He held my hand with a trembling hand.

“Come, let’s have a roof over our heads awhile.

Look, further on ahead, there

between truth and falsehood, a little empty space.”

Amrita Pritam

translated from the Punjabi by D.H. Tracy & Mohan Tracy

Clay: 24

2011-05-17T21:35:00.002+01:00

He took a chair
out to the garden
watched the shadow
kicked a stone.
Most of all
of late
the words hate me.

Yannis Ritsos
Athens—January 18, 1978

Like the Leaves

2011-02-17T22:41:00.002Z

Forgetting
is like leaves.

Some fall
others are born.

They stop being leaves
only when the tree
stops being a tree.

No One Belongs Here More Than You

2009-10-19T21:57:00.002Z

"If there were a map of the solar system, but instead of stars it showed people and their degrees of separation, my star would be the one you had to travel the most light-years from to get to his. You would die getting to him."

And the sea, my friend, does not dream of you

2009-04-09T12:50:00.000Z

Open to them your hand to the shore, watch them walk into the sea.
Press upon them all they need, see them yearn for all they want.
Gift to them the calm pool of words, watch them drove the sword.
Bless upon them the satiation of peace, see them starve from war.
Grant them darkness and they will lust for light.
Deliver to them death and hear them beg for life.
Beget life and they will murder your kin.
Be as they are and they will see you different.
Show wisdom and you are a fool
The shore gives way to the sea
And the sea, my friend,
Does not dream of you.

Wind and Water and Stone

2008-10-19T22:15:00.000Z

The water hollowed the stone,
the wind dispersed the water,
the stone stopped the wind.
Water and wind and stone.

The wind sculpted the stone,
the stone is a cup of water,
The water runs off and is wind.
Stone and wind and water.

The wind sings in its turnings,
the water murmurs as it goes,
the motionless stone is quiet.
Wind and water and stone.

One is the other and is neither:
among their empty names
they pass and disappear,
water and stone and wind.

Octavio Paz

2008-07-18T08:59:00.000+01:00

We have seas, full of the sun;
We have trees, full of leaves;
From dawn to dusk we go and go and come
Among our seas, among our trees
Full of
The blues.

2008-05-25T21:43:00.000Z

My soul
Empty as the silence,
Empty with a vague,
Aching emptiness
Desiring,
Needing someone
Something ......

2008-05-25T21:41:00.000Z

My hands
open the curtains of your being
clothe you in a further nudity
uncover the bodies of your body
My hands
invent another body for your body

2008-05-09T22:31:00.000Z

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

There is a rapture on the lonely shore,

There is society, where none intrudes,

By the deep sea, and music in its roar:

I love not man the less, but Nature more,

From these our interviews, in which I steal

From all I may be, or have been before,

To mingle with the Universe, and feel

What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.

2008-05-03T22:27:00.003Z

it is not important
that you take your bag and leave
all women take their bags and leave
when they are angry.
it is not the important question
that i put out my cigarettes nervously
on the upholstery of the chair,
all men do that
when they are angry.
the matter is not that simple.
it is out of our hands.
we are two zeroes in the margin of love.
two lines written in pencil.
what is important is this:
the golden fish thrown to us by the sea
was squashed between our fingers.

I know why the caged bird sings

2008-04-17T10:06:00.000Z

A free bird leaps on the back
Of the wind and floats downstream
Till the current ends and dips his wing
In the orange suns rays
And dares to claim the sky.

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage
Can seldom see through his bars of rage
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
The caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
And the trade winds soft through
The sighing trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright
Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with
A fearful trill of things unknown
But longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.

Bluebird

2007-12-08T01:24:00.000Z

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?

Charles Bukowski.

THE POEM OF BEING LONELY

2007-09-30T08:51:00.000Z

They don't know,
Those who don't live alone,
How frightening is
Soundlessness;
How a person talks to himself,
How he runs to mirrors,
Hungry for a soul,
They don't know it.

2007-09-30T08:50:00.001Z

it may not always be so; and i say
that if your lips, which i have loved, should touch
another's, and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart, as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such silence as i know, or such
great writhing words as, uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be, i say if this should be--
you of my heart, send me a little word;
that i may go unto him, and take his hands,
saying, Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands

2007-08-04T22:08:00.000Z

anyone reading here? or its just me?
:-)

2007-08-04T22:03:00.000Z

I have lost the path and stand at the foot of what seems to be an insurmountable slope. As the height of the thing and the length of my journey become clearer in my consciousness, there comes a distinct desperation, a sadness only arising from the choice between two implausibles. I've come so far... and only to be faced by an obstacle that is seemingly insurmountable. Must the terrifying grade be attempted? Better yet, can it be attempted? With what despondency would I turn back. Uncertain annihilation lies ahead and a certain more subtle obliteration behind.

The sun is setting and the rocks grow cold. If I remain here I am certain I will fade by the time the ice comes into being, in the twilight well before dawn. Yet the thought of staying fills me with such peace... such cessation of despair, that I consider it a little longer. Yes, this may be the best option. No desperate attempts, no brokenhearted retreats. Without even moving, I find I am quite comfortable, and that the stars will not quite admit utter darkness this night. In doing nothing I find there is nothing to fear, and I in a little while I will fall asleep.

2007-01-17T10:59:00.000Z

you say "I will come"
and you dont come
now you say,
"I will not come"
so i shall expect you.
have i learned to understand you?

Above The Clouds

2005-12-16T20:20:00.000Z

There’s a place where the sun breaks through
And the wind bites cold and hard
Stings my ears and
Tears my eyes
When the day starts to shout out loud

Stand tall
And glide
When you’re all alone in the crowd
Don’t fall
Don’t hide
When you walk above the clouds

When the light is against your face
And your smile is soft and sound
That’s when you tell me all your fears
and all your dreams
So proud

Stand tall
And glide
When you’re all alone in the crowd
Don’t fall
Don’t hide
When you walk above the clouds

I try and tell you
to keep your head upright
Don’t swing your sword and shield against the night
Don’t block your blessings, boy
You don’t have to fight

Stand tall
And glide
When you’re all alone in the crowd
Don’t fall
Don’t hide
When you walk above the clouds

C. Lauper

SUICIDE

2005-05-19T20:05:00.000Z

I must die without telling anyone.
A drop of blood must be on one corner of my mouth.
Those who don't know me
Will say,
``No doubt he loved somebody.''
Those who know me,
``Good for him. Poor man, he suffered a lot.''
But the true reason must be none of that.

2005-05-19T19:40:00.000Z

Windows are better;
At least you see the birds passing by
Instead of four walls.

2004-11-03T22:17:00.000Z

I am the Pablo Bird,
bird of a single feather,
a flier in the clear shadow
and obscure clarity,
my wings are unseen,
my ears resound
when I walk among the trees
or beneath the tombstones
like an unlucky umbrella
or a naked sword,
stretched like a bow
or round like a grape,
I fly on and on not knowing,
wounded in the dark night,
who is waiting for me,
who does not want my song,
who desires my death,
who will not know I'm arriving
and will not come to subdue me,
to bleed me, to twist me,
or to kiss my clothes,
torn by the shrieking wind.

That's why I come and go,
fly and don't fly but sing:
I am the furious bird
of the calm storm.

neruda

2004-09-13T20:42:00.000Z

how can you mend a broken heart?

2004-08-30T19:02:00.000Z

Reading this news made me sad,se;f control was one of my fav teen years song and i used to argue with my cousin(10 year older than me)that laura sings better this song than duran duran.god bless her.

2004-08-28T19:54:00.000Z

Oh soul,
you worry too much.

2004-08-02T19:26:00.000Z

i think i am trapped.except myself,my mind is also a mess.i dont know what i am doing,trying to escape from repeating,trying to change something but i am not able to do.its like i know whats going on but i am just sitting and watching and not doing anything.i don't like to watch anything,read anythiung or even music.i dont read some handy weblogs i used to everyday.they've got boring for me.whats happening to me?one thing i know i am not depressed,but what is this?

2004-07-31T18:48:00.000Z

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time

W.H. Auden

2004-07-31T18:36:00.000Z

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revalations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.

2004-07-27T20:00:00.001Z

sometimes i think i really need a change,i would have loved to move from here to another country.sometimes i say i cant really stand this situation.but then my another voice tells me its not the situation you wanna change,its just you are hoping with this move you,your dear self with change.thats true,but when i cant make the change i wanna make,maybe a change in place will bring me the change i want?!!

did you count how many change i used?

2004-07-27T20:00:00.000Z

the day when i went to pick my things from our closed office,i decided to walk back home and i carried lots of stuffs with me,now my right side of shoulder+chest aches badly.at first i freaked about possible heart attack but then i came into this result that its because of all those books and things i brought back.but it really hurts.

The Nights Where I Couldn't Write

2004-07-26T20:09:00.001Z

The Nights Where I Couldn't Write
I went
to the ocean blue
to hear
a thousand chains
dragged on
marble floors
I went
to the mountain green
to smell
the stench
of rotting flesh
So I hid
in my room
and bolted the doors
to pick up
the chains
and smell the stench
to lay dead
on my bed
for the ocean
to take me away
while the
mountains
watch over me

2004-07-26T20:09:00.000Z

Where is your mama?
as you sleep
on cardboards that
used to wrap
refrigerators
and when you snuggle
up only to feel your
elbows against your
knees on a rainy
night while taxis
pass by without
blowing their horns
in a highway without
traffic
in the middle
of the night.

Where is your mama?
as you puff cigarettes
like a marlboro chimney
with every penny you have saved
from not washing your face
and walking on hot cement
while the sun is out
to burn your little feet
and spare your tiny hands.

Where is your mama?
as you fight with bigger kids
to earn your day's glue
to grant you dreams
while you walk in a crowd
full of people who look away
when they stare right through your eyes
afraid they would only see..
themselves.

2004-07-22T19:19:00.000Z

i know its boring here,you have to wait a little.this is just like me now,but i've to warn you i am not always like this ;)
p.s.
this is some kind of paranoia,my audience is just me and me and sometimes you!

2004-07-22T19:01:00.000Z

i just found out this amazing young talent.Granian ,i liked his voice,its style and the words.there are some samples in his site.

2004-07-19T19:24:00.000Z

some joys are better expressed in silence,
as a smile hold more meaning than laughter,
i was asked if i enjoyed meeting you in life,
i just smiled...
me too...

i do anything so that you love me
i change my face
i'll look like the way you want
i change my attitude
i'll be what you want
i change my words
i'll say what you want
i even change my name
call me what you want
do you love me now?
no wait!
dont love me please
i've changed so much
that i'm gonna hate myself now

2004-07-17T19:07:00.000Z

history repeats itself!
our newspaper was shut down this afternoon
la vita e bella!!!

2004-07-15T20:46:00.001Z

Herve Joncour, a French silkworm trader, undertakes several hazardous journeys to Japan in the 1860s, to purchase the finest silkworm eggs in the world. The travel itself is incidental to the tale, and Baricco deals with it perfunctorily, in a formalised repetition that captures the cadence of tedium in repeated travels. While in Japan, Joncour is profoundly struck by a deep and aching desire for the concubine of Hara Kei, a feudal warlord who owns silkworm eggs, an aviary filled with exotic birds, a village and all its inhabitants, and the girl. This passion draws Joncour back to Japan time and again, and, though their relationship is unrequited, except indirectly in a stunningly written ritual bathing scene, his feelings for the girl deeply affect his life with his wife and friends in France.

Don't miss reading silk by alessandro baricco

2004-07-15T20:46:00.000Z

i smile when i sleep

2004-07-09T19:07:00.000Z

i think these days here is the worst thing to read.not much to say or better said not much to write.i am shouting myself cause i am not feeling well,i dont know.i have tried so hard not to fall into depression,i dont know what i feel now is depression or not but whatever it is i dont feel good.

2004-07-03T19:25:00.001Z

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

2004-07-03T19:25:00.000Z

Because of you, in gardens of blossoming flowers I ache from the
perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer remember your hands;
how did your lips feel on mine?
Because of you, I love the white statues drowsing in the parks,
the white statues that have neither voice nor sight.
I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice; I have forgotten
your eyes.
Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to my vague memory of
you. I live with pain that is like a wound; if you touch me, you will
do me irreparable harm.
Your caresses enfold me, like climbing vines on melancholy walls.
I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to glimpse you in every
window.
Because of you, the heady perfumes of summer pain me; because
of you, I again seek out the signs that precipitate desires: shooting
stars, falling objects.

pablo neruda

i'm so tired...

2004-06-30T20:00:00.002Z

There are times in life when one becoms a poet; when that joy and pain becomes irepressible and it wakes you up in the middle of the night to write the songs and wails of the heart

2004-06-30T20:00:00.001Z

If you cannot join me
in my darkness
or weep as my heart breaks
I will ask what love is.
Will you buy me cigarettes
in the morning?
and serve me whiskey for lunch?
If you won't
I will ask what love is.
Can you see me in my empty eyes?
then feel the void in your heart?
If not, I will ask what love is.
In my asking
will you ask with me?
And if you shall
I will know what love is.

Take me as I am

2004-06-30T20:00:00.000Z

Did not
grant myself
the chance
to know
you
because I
introduced
myself
before you.

2004-06-07T15:38:00.000Z

There's nothing different about the looks on those faces you recognize and hold dear. There was never anything ordinary about the faces you ignore. All are one and the same, besides what you invest in them. There is only one face, ever before you in a hundred wise, only one day infinitely repeating.

2004-06-07T15:25:00.000Z

i feel like a used battery!

2004-06-01T19:43:00.000Z

i'm again jobless.all of the editorials including the chief editor resigned today.life is sooooo beautiful

2004-05-20T20:20:00.002Z

I feel melancholic,I shouldn't write here

2004-05-20T20:20:00.001Z

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Maya angelou

2004-05-20T20:20:00.000Z

Silence is not a lack of words.
Silence is not a lack of music.
Silence is not a lack of curses.
Silence is not a lack of screams.
Silence is not a lack of colors
or voices or bodies or whistling wind.
Silence is not a lack of anything.

2004-05-06T20:53:00.000Z

I am a man: little do I last
and the night is enormous.
But I look up:
the stars write.
Unknowing I understand:
I too am written,
and at this very moment
someone spells me out

octavio paz

2004-05-06T20:45:00.000Z

Memories
the break up conversation game!

2004-05-06T20:36:00.000Z

If you haven't checked Noah's photolog,check it now.It's great.

2004-04-23T19:27:00.000Z

what is terrorism?Terrorism is the defining issue of the post 9/11 world. It is also one of the most confusing and contested words in the political lexicon. The route to understanding, says Fred Halliday, is through making connections: between past and present, state and insurgent violence, nationalist and religious movements.

2004-04-23T19:20:00.000Z

I am back again to news world.after freelancing for 8 months.During this 8 months i decided lots of things,first of all i wanted to go to aua.am but then due to things that happened and those who read here knew i didnt.then decided to take the bar exams but i wasnt ready and i am afraid i wont be in near future.so thats beacuse i went back to work cause i needed a real thing,somewhere to be.the first thing i did was a request to interview with noam chomsky but he wrote for the time he's busy and i should contact again next month.not a good start i think!

2004-04-21T19:30:00.000Z

i forgot what i was going to write!so silensio makes the best.

2004-04-19T21:17:00.000Z

You only love what you cannot touch, for you know that your touch would mar any object of love beyond recognizability. You love what is fleeting only because it has no regard for you, can never be hurt or destroyed by you.

And you dream of being equally untouchable, you sit and think of the perfect love: some divine dualism where each regards the other equally and neither is capable of inflicting pain or suffering it.

People generally don't understand how this could be love. They're so used to, so hardened by, being with one another that they just assume love always entails pain.

We watchers of cloud, tracers of stars, we collectors of broken glass and broken light, we who love with camera and pen, with mind and soul, we know.

Jody-from sound to sense

2004-04-15T19:44:00.000Z

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -- don't tell!
They'd advertise -- you know!

2004-04-08T20:37:00.000Z

Where Did I Wake Up?
Where did I wake up? where am I? Where’s
my right side, where’s the left? where’s above, and
where’s below?

2004-03-28T21:10:00.000Z

what can we do?
at their best, there is gentleness in Humanity.
some understanding and, at times, acts of
courage
but all in all it is a mass, a glob that doesn't
have too much.
it is like a large animal deep in sleep and
almost nothing can awaken it.
when activated it's best at brutality,
selfishness, unjust judgments, murder.

what can we do with it, this Humanity?

nothing.

Charles Bukowski

2004-03-28T20:54:00.000Z

just updated links and weblogs,check them.some of them are really cool.

2004-03-28T20:24:00.000Z

It was mom’s birthday. We took her to Lebanese restaurant and celebrated her day. It was the first year without dad and it was so different for her. Dad’s birthday is just a week later. During these times, I have tried to be strong, be with her and do not let her drown to her world. In front of us she is smiling, showing strong but I see her pain, which is still there, tearing here and there secretly. I have seen her having nightmares, staying awake all night and I do try to ease the pain. Happy birthday mom!

2004-03-19T21:55:00.000Z

happy spring to everyone,lots of joy and happiness to all of you

2004-03-17T20:30:00.000Z

my snoww

2004-03-17T20:09:00.000Z

i have a bad cold.my head spinning around and i feel so tired.but i can't sleep and i can't read or watch either.It's cold outside and i feel cold inside.

2004-03-16T18:28:00.000Z

new cd of norah jones is cool.so so cool!

2004-03-16T18:25:00.000Z

what you do when you miss someone like crazy?

2004-03-14T20:35:00.000Z

My whole life has been spent in the
pursuit of Instant Gratification.
Touch me in the morning.

2004-03-07T20:29:00.000Z

I had this strange dream last nite.i dont know where i was, suddenly all tvs showed husnie mobarak of egypt speaking to Iranians and telling them things i dont remember,then right after that bush announced something and then U.S attacked Iran with smart rockets and bombs and i could see them in sky.one thing i remmeber and it's the time.it was summer!!

2004-03-05T20:32:00.000Z

It's not working

2004-03-02T19:00:00.000Z

i shall open my photoblog soon)after i have my own little website)!!

p.s.
i've got this internet card for 15 hours and its working for more than 30 hours.its good stuff i think!

2004-03-02T18:58:00.000Z

i was thinking earlier to register a domain for myself but had no result.dont wanna use my name so its out.dont wanna anything too geeky and slutty.i know lots of goodies have been registered.so what u suggest?

2004-03-01T20:27:00.000Z

Dancing In The Waterfor shadi,she's one of the most amazing discoveries i have ever has on net!you knew buddha bar 5 is out?

2004-02-17T20:54:00.000Z

You Go Where The Words Are-Noah Grey

and if the words
are on a burning bridge
you cover yourself in ash

and if the words
find a zero at the bone
you rub them back into your blood

and if the words
are in your lover’s hands
you take them into your mouth

and if the words
come silently or not at all
you try to believe in their mercy

and if the words
are each one just as broken
you rebuild yourself in offhand moments

and if the words
should ever lose their balance
you make your way back falling upwards

and if the words
make their way back and back again
you listen for hints of higher meanings

and if the words
are scattered in the labyrinth
you tell stories about the minotaur

and if the words
cut you open with their edges
you can let yourself say amen

and if the words
ache like lost faith inside you
you can be your own sacrament

and if the words
burn within you like an aftermath
you make everything else a beginning

and if the words
got caught in your throat as a child
you cough up brimstone and fire

and if the words
scream at you while you sleep
you sing them when you wake

2004-02-16T21:35:00.000Z

look at wonderful works of Talli Rosner-Kozuch .

2004-02-16T21:23:00.000Z

Tree Heart
by Raphael Dagold

In a tree, blackbirds -- a swarm, an open hive,
each black lightness its own small chamber:
The birds are not crows and are not death

and there are hundreds of them in the dryness,
quick late-summer breathing back at the leaves
they're hungry doubles of, wet shades of oxygen

gathering, a gather and a making of a flock
from a tree, a leaf a wing, two a bird, three a bird
with a beak and a flutter and a lack

of patience, sun up and a hot sheen
already, air heated and moving in quick drifts
shaking the leaves, the leaves are strange here,

so many of them shaking but still silent,
their sound is under the sound of the birds
loud in the light, light shooting clean

from one hillside through to the next, pale,
before it's gone and saturated everything,
light strung to a key the birds play, each of the hundred,

the birds are so loud it's easy to think this,
that the very light is sound:
Then one of them goes. No mission. No scout.

Just go, come back, like that, some more go
to land in the field below the tips of grain
so a haze begins, elastic, a stream of one body

from the tree like a cell's separation,
no flat, no hollow, no more,
you'd think, could fit where they all go

to eat, is all, all the flock's pieces
beating their wings for the ground.
It is almost. It is almost too much

for the field to carry where they've described
themselves, written their own low arcs,
rippling and settling for each new two or three

until the tree of birds is in the field. Murmuring.
The light is there. The light is a disappearance.
And they are eating. And they are making room.

2004-02-16T08:30:00.000Z

"I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that
I am loved. I am
not sure that you are of the same mind. But the realm
of silence is
large enough beyond the grave. This is the world of
light and speech,
and I shall take leave to tell you that you are very
dear."
George Eliot
- also known as Marian Evans

2004-02-09T21:20:00.000Z

hi hi
i've missed here.it's been long since the last entry,think no one visits here anymore.It had been very hard days.sometimes unbearable. the best thing i have done is taking lots of pictures.pictures of snow,sunrise,rain,sunset,moon,everything.some of them are good i think.i have written also 2 short stories.listend to lots of music and discovered lots of things,but still cant read books,i think i need to check this ,its getting too long.
anyway that all

2004-02-09T21:03:00.000Z

How can you bear to look at the Neva?
How can you bear to cross the bridges?.
Not in vain am I known as the grieving one
Since the time you appeared to me.
The black angels' wings are sharp,
Judgment Day is coming soon,
And raspberry-colored bonfires bloom,
Like roses, in the snow

Anna Akhmatova

2004-01-01T09:07:00.000Z

That day when i left for work I could never imagine i will not see him again anymore.
My father passed away on saturday evening.It all happened so quick,without any pain.Mom was with him in the final moments,2 days after celebrating 33 years of marriage he left.I have lots of wonderful & beautiful memories.may he rest in peace.

2003-12-20T13:49:00.000Z

links:
make your own headline,brought to you by webgardino
BUSH ASKS ‘FINDING NEMO’ TEAM TO FIND SADDAM;old but funny
Closed-circuit cameras detect possible ghostly presence ;good for wes cravon to make a movie

WMD found in Saddam's Beard

2003-12-20T13:38:00.000Z

The search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq came to an end today as U.S. military officials found chemical, biological and nuclear weapons hidden in the scraggly beard of former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein.more...

2003-12-12T21:07:00.000Z

Wsis to my idea was not a success,I don't want to label it as a failure but things prove it.unfortunately I wasn't able to go there but there was this wonderful blog,the daily summit and one by reading it could feel was there right in Geneva.It was called information society but reporters without borders was not allowed,many journalists,organizations and ngo's were furious for restrictions imposed on them.UK & USA were non-active like it was not important for them what's going on there.Maybe this summit was just a political show off.

2003-12-04T08:06:00.000Z

baby its cold outside
bought 2 cds,Cesaria evora's Voz D'Amor and pavarotti's Ti adoro.both are very good.also bough a book on pan-turkism from Jacob Landau.Its time to make the wish list.weeew ;)

2003-12-04T07:59:00.000Z

Some Surfing

World War 4 In 2004-pravda
Empty Lives...Empty Words...Empty Chairs
Return of the KGB-MSNBC
Mummy Maker-A game from BBC

2003-12-03T20:11:00.000Z

Things are going bad lately.It seems everything i do,everything i start goes the wrong way.i am starting to lose my self confidence.i get angry alot and do most of the times nothing useful.when i told a friend of mine about this she said you always complain too much,but shouldnt one notice when his life is going in wrong direction?the other day i was arguing with myself(i always do this) about me bing a big loser.one half said no you r not,you've achived alot,you've done good.the other half said shit,you are a big loser,a complete failure.i know i am not a full loser,but it annoys me to be in this situation.
someone give me back my confidence!!

Wish

2003-11-28T20:45:00.000Z

Your magic look makes me tremble.
Come, envelop me like a sweet cloud.
Bite my lips, let them bleed,
Destroy my life laughingly and run away.

some surfing

2003-11-21T20:32:00.000Z

'Cosmic talent with a child's generosity' -Fidel Castro's review on Gabriel García Márquez's "Living to Tell the Tale"

UC Berkeley professor George Lakoff tells how conservatives use language to dominate politics

the one and only-Rumi

Be Creative by Francis Coppola

...

2003-11-20T20:44:00.000Z

I am in a good mood but i dont know why i feel sad!

I'm tired
Very soon I will try to agree,
Very soon I will try to accept,
That I lived in this world like a free,
Man, who couldn't lie and suspect
Very soon I’ll be tired of love,
I'll be tired of books on the shelve,
Like a hand from an old yellow glove
I will take off the life from myself
I'm so tired; please don't look that way,
I don't want you believe me like that,
I just need to sleep over the life,
With my soul, but not with my eyes
Sure, I know what you're going to say,
Sure, I’m sure that you'll say that right now...
I'm tired, I don't know of what,
I'm tired; don't speak with me now...

2003-11-15T04:52:00.000Z

why every ad above my blog is related to pope and vatican?

2003-11-15T04:41:00.000Z

I had 3 weeks to write the article about noam chomsky and i didnt and now i am told i should write this in 2 days and it shouldnt be less than 40 pages.wish me luck!!

2003-11-13T20:38:00.000Z

Sometimes a song reminds you how much you miss a loved one.

2003-11-06T03:30:00.000Z

Some links to fool around:

PopeCountdown:resource for information on the upcoming change of guard in the Vatican.(if you do right,u'll win a trip to rome)

Ken Martin photography:extensive collection of Ken Martin's works.

Mozart's Third Brain :Seven sections from Sonnevi's musical masterpiece.

sister scorpion:I'm getting tired of the racism, nationalism, tribal pecking order garbage

2003-11-06T03:19:00.000Z

NeWs
I've got this habbit of late to bed,early to rise,makes me irritated and numb or dumb?!!!:)
whenever i sleep i am awake at 6-6:30.i wanna sleep more!
I've read too much shit about bush these days.i read articles about how he thinks he is on mission.how he thinks he's doing what god wants.i think he will bring us more danger if he wins 2004.
I am going to be a bestman!i know i am the best(what is an ego?),but my friend of childhood has asked me to be his bestman.we are friends for about 21 years.the wedding will be in december.you're invited ;)

2003-10-30T18:07:00.000Z

I finally finished reading name of the rose. It was very good and I really liked it.
The day I finished reading it, TV was showing pope among his fans, there were thousands of people cheering for 83 year old john Paul. There were lots of cardinals with their violet cloths. Violet I think is a common color among many religions, but I don’t know the reason. In different branches of Christianity it’s the main color among the leaders. Anyway the man on the show said there’s a hidden competition among the cardinals for being the next pope, a vaticanologist said the future pope may be black and if it happens it will be the first time in catholic history but there is an obstacle and it is the Italians. Italians believe that pope should be Italian and recently they had no one in that position so they are doing vast lobbies to select cardinal of Milan to pope. A friend of me says selecting the new pope is a very interesting ceremony and I am happy that this time I can see it (or maybe pope will live longer than me).

2003-10-30T18:06:00.000Z

Moral show
Hehe, I saw an old movie and it was a puppet show and I was in it also. It was 10 years ago and I was so interested in acting and I was so eager. In the puppet show I was a fish who at the end turns into a young man. It was a show for kids. I have also played some other shows and danced and sang on scene. I won’t do any of them now but then I was happy to sing in front of a crowd. At that show my grandma was also present and she was so satisfied with me. She died shortly after that.
When I saw the movie again I remembered all those long nights and practices. It was really hard but I am happy I did them.

2003-10-20T19:43:00.000Z

Ama me fideliter, Fidem meam noto, Decorde totaliter, Et ex mente tota, Sum presentialiter, Absens in remota

2003-10-15T19:47:00.000Z

Don't ask about my life,
I have no past.
For me,time has shriveled up and become
An absurd dog.

2003-10-06T20:17:00.000Z

I dont know why americans always choose their worst actors as their politicans.they can at least choose better looking people.i would choose sharon stone for sure!
yeaah,my mind is repeating" pigs don't fly"!